How to take revenge on a narcissist? Many who discover narcissistic abuse feel anger and want revenge. But is it a good idea? This article explores the topic and suggests the best way to deal with a narcissist.
How to take revenge on a narcissist?
Let me be clear: seeking revenge on a narcissist is not advisable. While it’s natural to feel vengeful, acting on those feelings can be dangerous.
To successfully retaliate against a narcissist, you’d need to adopt a similarly unhealthy mindset. Even then, it may lead to more retaliation with serious consequences. In the worst case, you jeopardize yourself and your loved ones.
Confronting the narcissist with your findings
When I first realized I was a target of my narcissistic mother, I considered informing her through a mutual acquaintance. However, I now understand that this could backfire.
Engaging in any discussion with a narcissist is futile. They don’t absorb the message, and they twist everything around. If you expose them as a narcissist, they’ll tell others you’re the narcissist. Never share this knowledge with a narcissist!
When I realized this, I abandoned the idea. Nevertheless, I wrote her a letter, hand-delivered before I knew about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
The letter, born out of desperation, aimed to address the childhood impact she had on me (refer to the article ‘Narcissistic Mother‘). Despite my attempts to discuss it directly, I faced a brick wall.
In the letter, I shared my feelings and the enduring impact on my life. After sending it, she never responded.
This occurred in early 2015. Recently, I discovered she used the letter as “proof” of my supposed wrongdoing. It highlights how a narcissist can weaponize even a heartfelt, desperate letter against you.
Do you still want to take revenge on the narcissist?
If you still desire to seek revenge on a narcissist, here are some actions that can be particularly intolerable for them.
Ignore
A narcissist depends on the attention they receive from others. By ignoring them, you can inflict significant punishment, depriving them of the narcissistic supply they crave.
A narcissist would rather face condemnation than be ignored. Expressing hatred feeds their ego, making you a target for their anger. Additionally, bystanders may perceive you as the instigator.
Thus, ignoring a narcissist is an effective way to seek revenge!
Criticism
Narcissists struggle with handling criticism. You can confront them by offering criticism in a group setting. Avoid being insulting to prevent the group from turning against you.
Image
A narcissist harbors a false self and seeks constant confirmation of their image. If you identify their image, consider doing the opposite. Rather than reinforcing it, begin to question it.
This tactic is highly risky. As you are aware, touching a narcissist’s image can trigger intense fury. It may lead to a direct confrontation with the narcissist, requiring you to stand your ground firmly!
Humor
Narcissists typically lack a sense of humor, finding amusement in the suffering of others, especially if they caused it. They enjoy making jokes at others’ expense, particularly in front of the target, often deflecting criticism by dismissing it as “just a joke.” However, when the tables turn and jokes are aimed at the narcissist, they react with anger.
Understanding this, you might consider seeking revenge on a narcissist by mocking them.
I once dealt with a bothersome co-worker, clearly an overt narcissist. He couldn’t bear not being the center of attention during breaks, speaking loudly even during work. His favorite pastime was highlighting others’ mistakes, always uttering, “It is human to make a mistake; it is only the stupid ones who make the most mistakes.”
When he made an error himself, I playfully echoed his own words back at him. Unsurprisingly, he couldn’t find it amusing and was visibly irritated.
A word of warning…
When employing these tactics, the narcissist will attempt to reverse the situation. They’ll exploit your vulnerabilities to elicit an emotional reaction from you. If the narcissist succeeds, they regain control, pulling you back into their web of abuse.
Furthermore, observers may perceive you as the one who was rude to that “poor narcissist.”
Do you still desire revenge?
The best way to get revenge on a narcissist!
However, there is a way to seek revenge on a narcissist—though not by direct confrontation. The most effective approach is to channel all your energy into rebuilding your own life. Create a beautiful life for yourself and completely disregard the narcissist!
A narcissist struggles when they no longer hold influence over you, unless they find another victim. Eventually, that victim is likely to break free as well. This is when you might re-enter the picture.
By demonstrating immunity to the narcissist’s manipulations, you achieve the best revenge.
Not there yet? Take the first step with the “30 Day Narcissism Free Challenge.”
Have you ever sought revenge on a narcissist? If so, share your experience in a comment below. Knowledge is power!
