In this article, Jacintha shares her experience with a group of friends, among whom one turns out to be a copycat with narcissistic traits.
The copycat
Iris and Jolanda are enthusiastic photography friends. They reside in a pleasant neighborhood in a small provincial town and relish going out together to capture images. They review each other’s photos and exchange comments.
Both of them frequently share their photos on Instagram, with Iris doing so more often than Jolanda. What’s interesting is that they often shoot in the same locations, yet their photos differ significantly due to their unique perspectives on photography. Despite the distinctions, they both derive enjoyment from the shared activity.
At some point, new people move into the neighborhood: Andrea and William. They have a dog, just like Jolanda, and that quickly creates a bond.
Andrea is new in the neighborhood and is also looking for connections. Iris and Jolanda are happy to welcome her. They also meet on the neighborhood terrace. Since it’s summer, it’s pleasant to enjoy a cup of coffee on the terrace and perhaps head out to take pictures.
Iris is very skilled with Instagram and manages several accounts with photos and stories. Andrea also has an Instagram account where she posts numerous photos throughout the day about various topics, including home and garden, dogs, and work. Iris and Jolanda find it amusing.
Similar photos and texts
After a while, it becomes apparent that Iris is keeping some distance from Andrea. Jolanda notices it but doesn’t address it with Iris. At a certain point, Jolanda observes that many photos and texts on Andrea’s Instagram account bear a striking resemblance to Iris’s photos and texts.
It can be about an animal at the petting zoo or a specific tree, plant, or statue in the neighborhood—distinct and separate. She watches it closely, and indeed, shortly after, almost identical texts and photos appear, mirroring those of Iris. Although Jolanda doesn’t use Instagram extensively, she follows some people.
At one point, she notices that Andrea seems to claim everything as her own. When something special is posted on Instagram by Iris or Jolanda, Andrea’s quick response is, “Too bad I didn’t see that,” instead of expressing admiration like, “What a beautiful moment,” for example.
Jolanda also keeps a bit more distance, but she doesn’t discuss it with Iris, which feels a bit awkward. There appears to be a divide between Iris and Jolanda because of Andrea, even though they still see each other. There seems to be something unspoken.
A strange feeling
One day, Jolanda takes a picture of a statue in another part of town, a statue by Titus Brandsma, located in the background of Bonifatius Park. She looks up the story about Titus Brandsma and makes a post on Instagram and Facebook. Andrea quickly responds with the text, “Oh, I didn’t know that.”
An hour later, a photo of the same statue and a matching story appear on Andrea’s account, without citing the source or acknowledging Jolanda for the tip, for example. Jolanda wonders if she’s taking it too lightly but soon concludes that it is unsettling to work in such a manner. It makes her feel uncomfortable.
A Copycat with Narcissistic Traits
Jolanda and Iris meet a few days later, and Andrea comes up in their conversation. Specifically, they discuss the numerous photos she posts, making it challenging to keep up. After a while, the term “copycat” emerges. They conclude that they are dealing with a so-called copycat, someone who replicates various things from others and pretends to have originated them.
They both also suspect that Andrea might be a copycat with narcissistic features, as she appears self-absorbed in everything. Iris and Jolanda have seen enough. They decide to keep their distance from Andrea. Both have experience with narcissism and are adamant about avoiding being targets of narcissistic abuse again. Nevertheless, both find it difficult because leaving someone behind is never easy.
“I Am Very Important”
Jolanda is a member of the botanical garden and writes articles for botanical magazines. Excited about an excursion through the meadows with a guide, she looks forward to exploring special plants. The participants gather in a garden pavilion to introduce themselves.
Andrea joins at one point, and Jolanda warmly remarks, “Oh, what a coincidence, nice to see you here too.” Andrea’s initial response is, “Did you see that on my account?” Unaware of this, Jolanda, being a member of the botanical garden, often receives information about such excursions.
Andrea’s greeting stings, making it seem like Jolanda did something wrong. It’s an odd reaction. Andrea continues talking loudly in front of Jolanda, who is seated with five others. She proudly mentions knowing the tour leader well and receiving a personal invitation, conveying, “I am very important, and you are not, because I know the person organizing the tour.”
This is how people with narcissistic disorder operate. They prioritize themselves at the expense of others, showing a lack of concern for others’ feelings or genuine interest in them. Instead, they pursue their desires and make every effort to be perceived as important. Andrea explicitly conveys this to Iris, stating, “If I want something, I get it. I’m doing everything I can to make it happen.”
See also the article: ‘Wat is a Narcissist?‘
Across the Border
Certainly, it’s commendable to pursue your goals and achieve things in life, but there’s an ethical limit to how you do that. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder frequently cross that line, displaying a complete disregard for ethical boundaries and looking down on others. They prioritize their own importance, continually seeking to be somewhere, experience something, quickly post about it, and showcase their perceived uniqueness and significance.
Many people initially fall for their charm, thinking, “What an interesting person!” However, it doesn’t take long for these individuals to realize that it’s not about them but rather about the narcissist in question. While it may take some time, these copycats are typically exposed sooner or later. Don’t celebrate too soon, though, as they swiftly move on to a new target who admires and finds them intriguing until the cycle repeats.
Do you know such people in your vicinity, and how do you deal with them? Share your experiences in the comments below this article because we can learn from each other: Knowledge is power.
