Many victims of narcissistic abuse suffer not only from severe emotional mistreatment but also fall victim to financial exploitation. Narcissists aim to exert control by any means necessary, with money serving as a potent tool for manipulation.
Financial Exploitation
This article delves into the financial exploitation by narcissists, building on previous discussions about their mental abuse and manipulative tactics. Narcissists are known for their pathological lying, manipulative behavior, and exploitative nature, which extends to both emotional and financial realms.
Narcissists seek to dominate and maintain their victims’ dependency on them. Financial control is an effective method to achieve this, as highlighted in the article “Leaving the Narcissist,” which discusses the fear victims may have of not being able to survive independently, particularly when children are involved. Victims often return to abusive relationships seeking financial stability, despite the emotional and physical toll.
Examples of Financial Exploitation by a Narcissist
Financial exploitation can vary depending on the situation. Here are some examples.
The Narcissist as Your Financial Gatekeeper
The narcissist takes complete control over your finances without your input, relegating you to a budget or doling out “pocket money,” effectively acting as your financial gatekeeper.
They might even require you to request money for every little expense, monopolizing control over all income, yours included. This tactic ensures they oversee every penny you spend.
Known for their manipulative prowess, narcissists excel at convincing you of your incapacity to manage finances. Portraying themselves as your financial savior, they persuade you to relinquish control of your bank account to them.
This arrangement restricts your access to your own funds while granting your narcissistic partner unfettered freedom to spend your money as they see fit.
Spending Your Money
The narcissist freely spends your money without seeking your consent.
It’s well understood that narcissists consider themselves entitled to special privileges, making it a foregone conclusion in their minds that they should have unfettered access to your funds.
Unpaid Bills
The narcissist, who controls your finances, neglects to pay the bills, leading you into financial difficulties.
The Narcissist Lives with You
Allowing a narcissist to move in often results in them not contributing financially. Initially, they might contribute while still portraying themselves as the “ideal partner.” However, as financial exploitation starts, their contributions to household expenses diminish progressively.
Justifying Your Spending
The narcissist insists on you explaining every expense. They might demand receipts or invoices for everything you spend, and disagreement often leads to punishment.
Debts in Your Name
The narcissist unlawfully utilizes your credit card, often maxing it out. Eventually, you’re left to foot the bill for the accumulated debt.
They might also request a new credit card under your name, inevitably maxing it out. Similarly, they could take out a loan in your name, leaving you responsible for repayment while they spend the funds.
Emptying the Account
If you share a joint account with a narcissistic partner, it’s likely to be emptied eventually. This risk escalates, especially as the relationship nears its end.
When splitting with a narcissist, they aim to harm you. One tactic is draining the account, leaving you burdened with debt.
Lacking empathy, narcissists disregard the consequences of their actions, even if it puts you in jeopardy.
Selling Your Assets
As noted, narcissists believe they have unique entitlements. They consider it acceptable to spend your money and even sell your belongings, impacting your possessions, identity, and life.
Financial exploitation extends beyond spending; it includes selling your assets without consultation.
Undermining Your Career
Narcissists may feign support for your career, but secretly, they resent your success. They need to feel superior. When financial control is their tactic, they’ll sabotage your career.
Tactics include workplace harassment, urging you to resign, or thwarting your efforts to advance your career.
Fear of Discussing Finances
Narcissists often create drama to control situations, leaving victims afraid to broach certain topics, including financial matters.
Victims refrain from asking about finances due to fear of the narcissist’s reaction. This allows the narcissist to continue spending recklessly, leaving you to bear the burden of debt.
Take Money from Your Family
A cunning tactic to isolate yourself from family is borrowing money from them, which the narcissist never repays. This leads to disputes and isolation, dealing a double blow to the victim.
Refuse to Pay Alimony
After a breakup, narcissists often neglect paying alimony, indifferent to its impact on their children. They may even avoid legal documentation, leaving the victim, already exploited financially, to pay alimony to the narcissist.
Using Sex for Financial Blackmail
Sexual manipulation is prevalent, especially among male narcissists, who may demand sex in exchange for money.
Conversely, both male and female narcissists may withhold sex if the victim fails to meet their financial demands.
Financial Fraud in Your Name
Narcissists lack moral integrity, enabling them to steal or commit fraud without hesitation. However, they understand the potential consequences.
They may refrain from committing tax fraud in your name, but if discovered, you, as the victim, bear the repercussions.
Those exploited financially often face debt restructuring or even imprisonment, while the narcissist moves on to their next victim.
Personal Experience
In earlier articles, I discussed a toxic girlfriend I briefly dated. She constantly demanded money for various expenses. For instance, she once claimed she might face jail time if she didn’t pay her $300 phone bill.
I made the mistake of paying her bill under the condition she’d stop calling excessively. Predictably, she didn’t care. She had a knack for manipulating situations, making me feel guilty when I objected.
But her attempts to exploit me financially became too obvious too soon. I realized it wasn’t love but manipulation. I decided to end things after just a week, though I should’ve done it sooner. It’s harder when you’re in the midst of it.
A week later, as she arrived in a taxi expecting me to foot the bill, a friend’s remark, “She’s only using you for money,” was the final straw. Whether she was a narcissist, I can’t say for sure. She was certainly manipulative and financially exploitative.
How to Safeguard Against Financial Exploitation
If you’ve encountered a narcissistic relationship, you likely resonate with the examples mentioned earlier. To shield yourself from further financial exploitation, consider these steps:
- Maintain a separate bank account solely under your control.
- Activate fraud alerts for your credit card(s).
- Don’t allow your aspirations for career growth to be stifled.
These measures can help prevent ongoing financial exploitation. Do you have experiences, comments, or additional insights on this topic? Share them with us in the comments below. Knowledge is power!
