After 35 years of wondering why one child in the family was able to: kidnap, disrupt and make the whole family unhappy, I discovered Herman Liesemeijer's site a few months ago.

I have been reading information about narcissism for years, but Herman's honest, loving, and pure approach came deep into my mind and moved me.

The way Herman tells, or rather reports, about his own period of Narcissistic abuse, makes me completely open to his acquired expertise in the field of narcissism.

On the one hand, I feel his pain about the narcissistic abuse he endured for 47 years. On the other hand, I also sense his compassion. That makes Herman very credible.

Narcissism is often written to resolve personal pain and bitterness. Apart from a few times, Herman has moved beyond this!

I couldn't stop reading and re-reading his articles and followed his Webinar twice, then I participated in the Challenge.

Because of Herman Liesemeijer's instructions, and especially because of his strong, convincing, and penetrating way of writing and speaking, I feel a new inner strength emerging.

Slowly my despair, my sadness, inability, and guilt are disappearing.

I now know that it was not the fault of me and the other members of the family, but that our child is ill.

I can now distance myself from him, no longer have to listen to him, endure his rudeness, and allow it into my life.

In the meantime, the other children and myself are enjoying our newfound freedom!

Too bad my husband can't do this anymore.

My life has now become so much fuller and so much more relaxed.

With deep thanks to Herman.

I would like to respond to your question what I think of the 30-Day Narcissism Free Challenge.

First of all, I found it quite exciting to share my feelings via the internet and a forum. Gradually, however, I noticed that it was getting easier for me and I liked that.

By being open and looking at the assignments seriously, I needed and wanted to take a good look at myself. I want to be happy and not a victim of a sick upbringing anymore. It definitely has added value to seriously think/feel about the assignments that are given every day and then write them down.

I like that you share so clearly practical information about narcissism and especially what dealing with such a person does to you. In my case, I was mistreated by my mother and that is so intense because a mother is a role model and you want to follow a good example as a child.

I had completely cut contact with my mother a few months ago, but the aftermath of this action is still quite difficult. I have to persevere and no longer be sensitive to manipulations so that I won't slip back into her web.

What I also learn very well through the challenge is that I become more confident. I perceive intuitive perceptions much more and especially my clairvoyant gaze. I now get a clearer picture of why I get a bad feeling with some people. Even more important is that I am no longer so easily tempted to dismiss that feeling because someone else does not immediately see that sick behavior.

I like your way because you articulate things clearly and don't miss a beat. You do not soften the disease and because of that I feel very strongly supported by taking better care of MYSELF and my choices.

I really think the challenge is a great challenge that brings me to more inner peace. I am very grateful for that and look forward to the next two weeks with enthusiasm. Sometimes something hurts, but I like to take it because it makes me feel better.

Thank you Herman for your courageous efforts to bring this into the world.

My reason for entering the Challenge was to help me understand important information about narcissism.

That worked, I think. The Challenge highlights important points. I liked that. The Challenge made me aware of points that I had to think about. I used to go like “Ah”, “Oh yeah”, “Aha” and those kinds of exclamations in my head.

I did all the assignments for myself.

I notice that my therapy responds to your Challenge and vice versa (interaction). Thank you for your Challenge!

I "coincidentally" have a neighbor whose been separated from her narcissistic husband for a few months. I recognize a lot in her stories, but I grew up in a completely narcissistic family (according to my own insights).

I had no direction, no one to help or understand me. I still had a deep death wish in 2008, it was that bad. That death wish is sometimes still noticeable, but I don't want to get involved. As a result, I only feel a partial connection with someone who didn't grow up in a full-blown narcissistic family.

Sometimes I still wonder if I'm imagining things, but with your Challenge I no longer doubt my own perceptions, and I immediately correct my unnecessary question. Narcissists want you to doubt yourself. So that really dawned on me!

Of course, I searched several websites to satisfy my hunger for information. I personally find your website very good and inviting.

You have a lot of extra information on your website, such as about the gaslight effect, which immediately reminds me of my mother (hidden narcissist). I still want to delve into that.

I feel more and more resilient and combative. After all, I cut off all contact with family last year. I stick to that. I do not regret it. I now live my life the way it suits me and the way I want to. I confront my fears and become more and more active and still want to do things, even though I am now 62 years old.

I entered the Challenge after an intensive search on the internet. After the death of my mother, I wanted to be able to give her behavior a place. She caused me a lot of pain and sorrow. Thanks to the Challenge, I have now been able to compartmentalize properly.

The Challenge also confirmed that my husband also has a narcissistic personality disorder. One hundred percent recognition! Because I was used to being mistreated by my mother, I married a narcissist without realizing it.

Now that I've figured it out, my knowledge gives way to taking action. I don't take things anymore and I don't let myself be manipulated. The ringing alarm bells are now being heard by me, and I am grateful that I am now able to do so.

I think it also has to do with my recent pulmonary embolism. But I survived and no one is robbing my gratitude, self-esteem and joie de vivre anymore. No deceased mother and no husband.

Thank you for being able to describe a narcissist's behavior and the impact it has on the victims so well. It has done me great good.

My reason for participating in the 30-Day Narcissism Free Challenge was that I only discovered with a psychologist that I suffer from NSS. Now my narcissist is my ex-husband, the father of my children so I can never get rid of him completely. He's still dating us even though he's in a new relationship.

With this Challenge, I hoped to learn how to deal with him and make sure that he can no longer touch me with his manipulative behavior.

The 30-Day Narcissism Free Challenge has made me realize that I am not alone. By reliving everything again, I now have a different view of it.

I also participated on the private forum. I had to get in there for a while, but that was very nice because I was not the only one. I did, however, find the subject of the internal critic difficult, and hope I executed it well.

I can honestly say that this Challenge has already made me a bit stronger. And I like that I can still go to the site if I want to say something or get help from fellow sufferers.

Thank you for making this subject of narcissism a topic for discussion, because I notice in my environment that there is a lot of taboo on it because of a lot of misunderstanding.

I entered the 30-Day Narcissism Free Challenge because a friend was mentally manipulating me for his own addiction. He also made sure that not he, but others, were classified as narcissists.

How bad such a narcissist is and how often it actually happens... It was a total surprise for me!

Also, discovering my own childhood and why I felt so different. Purely because I was also “raised” by a narcissistic father.

The 30-Day Narcissism Free Challenge has given me a lot of self-knowledge, and about the attraction that narcissists have to me. Apparently, I'm sensitive to that.

At first, I was an open and cheerful lady and later I was very scared and insecure, which did not suit me at all. I fought my way through it well and now I know clearly what I WANT and that I don't have to live for them, but for myself!

I have completed most of the commands on the private forum. As a result, I especially gained more self-knowledge.

The reason for me to join was to gain more insight into the hows and whys and what narcissism actually was. In particular, how to deal with a relationship with a narcissist. And see that I'm not the only one who fell for it….

The challenge has given me more insight, although I sometimes found it very crazy, weird, and scary. I have often wondered how it was possible that you knew all this. Had you sometimes stood in our living room or watched from a distance? So many similarities!

And what was very reassuring for me was that not only have I been caught in the lies, but that this has certainly happened to many others as well. All with their own story, but so many similarities.

I haven't posted much on the forum. First of all, I was afraid that others might read this too, although you clearly stated it was private. Second, because writing about the experiences is very difficult for me. Maybe it's too late...

For myself, I thought the course would definitely help me. Unfortunately, a message has recently come from the side of the narcissist that has turned everything upside down. I think that, as you also indicated, with children you certainly never get rid of the narcissist. My son is certainly further along in this process and has already distanced himself from his father more than I can.

The reason I entered the "30-Day Narcissism Free Challenge" is my personal experience with narcissism and the hunger for knowledge about narcissism. With that I hope to be able to post experiences. What falls within narcissism and what fell outside of what I experienced. What more could I do for myself.

Thanks to the challenge, I consciously visited my existing knowledge again. Confirmation that I've been in a narcissistic relationship and how bad it is that that happened, but also that you don't have to become an aimless victim in new other friendships/relationships. I've also discovered that I already know quite a bit by reading a lot about narcissism.

Contact with fellow sufferers means a lot to me. I also participated in the workshop in Utrecht.

The reason I entered is because I had a relationship with a narcissist 2 yrs ago, it didn't last long. But now after 2 yrs I am almost completely over it. I'm really bummed that this has taken so long.

What I do think is that you don't get these people on your path for nothing. You learn a lot from them about yourself! Example: setting your boundaries! That's just 1 example.

The 30-day challenge was very good, all the emails you have written have been very recognizable to me.

Likewise, concerning your self-confidence, this is so important and there are even more examples, you say narcissists see people as objects, very recognizable. It's nice to read that I'm not only looking forward to it but that it really is.

Other than that, I can only compliment you on how you're doing the challenge! Keep it up.

I was very happy with the daily emails. They provide perspective and insight. My goal has been to become more detached from my narcissistic ex-partner. We just got divorced and it helped me a lot.

Of course, you also have to take steps yourself and dare to cut. But it works step by step. The emails were very motivating. I didn't participate in the closed group myself because I don't dare to throw everything on the table like that.

The assignments are very good because you take action and are forced to think.

Thank you for your passionate commitment.

The reason I signed up for the 30-Day Narcissism Free Challenge was that I had just resigned from my narcissistic manager. I was so fed up with it at the time that joining the challenge seemed like a good idea.

What it has brought me is that I now know how a narcissist works, and the origin and purpose of the different types of narcissists. Shocked at my attitude and emotionally heavy at the recognition and when you went back to my feeling.

How insecure I am and what a panic gives me and what beautiful people around me. Beautiful steps made from anger to sadness to light hope, step by step every day something forward.

I have completed all assignments, sometimes a day later but entered everything

I now want to let all the information that I have gathered in the past period sink in, discover and experience how I feel now, and I can feel and have confidence about all the steps I will take.

I am grateful for all your insights, even though it was sometimes very difficult,

Herman thanks for the challenge and the insights.

I entered because I needed that extra push, an insight that was still missing from my puzzle.

By participating in the 30-Day Narcissism Free Challenge, I spent a month intensively working on this. I have found the missing piece, as well as the way to self-confidence, and have come to deeper insights.

I have made choices, made decisions, and am happy with them.

Thank you!